Wednesday, November 30, 2016

LGBT and flights

Have you ever had that feeling where you're sitting in one place and your surrounding keeps moving? That moment when your stomach curls and butterflies turn into gigantic elephants? All you can only see and understand is the ever growing feeling inside you... to throw up! Yes, you guessed it. 
Motion sickness. 
This piece is totally going to be about how it ruined my chance at Bollywood. Confused much? I'll tell you how..

God's own country - a place where bananas are fried and leaves are eaten upon. Where queues in front of the bar are longer than those in front of banks. Having enjoyed an impromptu vacation for a couple of days, it was time for me to return. Apart from the fact that I love travelling, I'm a huge subscriber of something that comes with the baggage, i.e. motion sickness. Love it, hate it, but it never lets me ignore it. Mindful not to fall sick 40,000 feet above the ground, amidst the beautiful sky and clouds, I popped a pill supposedly assigned to make me feel better.

Did the pill make me shut my mouth?(pun intended)
DAMN YES because now I was drowsy and felt like I'd just been tranquillised. 
I'm a big sucker for window seats and hence made sure I got one on the plane. A few mins later, a Blondie in his mid 50s sat next to me. Another few mins later his Indian friend came and sat next to him. They seemed to be dressed like in a band. Long hair, leather jackets and swag face. 
As the flight started taking off, suddenly, Blondie clutched Indie's hand and intertwined their fingers. He shut his eyes tightly like a small child afraid of planes and tightened the grip of his hand. It was one of the most heartwarming scenes of my 2016. 

Welcome to India 2016 where a new age queer couple is travelling and taking life just like the rest. 

The pill was starting to act in all its glory and I dozed off by the time we started seeing the clouds. I  woke up wanting to click a picture of their hands but just then, yay i fell asleep again. (P.S. they kept holding hands till we landed) :)

We landed in Pune and I asked the cute Indie to help me with my bag.

(Okay, please wait for the climax)

Days after that, I was awake one midnight as usual, watching videos on YouTube. On the side bar, I saw something. No, I saw someone in a video. Familiar and unable to recollect. Who is he? Kaun hai woh? I opened the video and it was an interview with Kareena Kappor Khan. 
I was busy looking at the host and... DAMN!!! He's the Indie!!! 

Apparently, I slept off sitting next to the Indie who is a popular Bollywood figure in terms of anchoring, story writing and screenplay writing for another Bollywood director with similar 'tastes' as his. 

Made me wonder... why is his relationship status single to the world? You have a beautiful relation Indie, and with the most lovely person. It doesn't matter if you both are the same sex. We need more beautiful souls like you. Ones who can just love; without reason and compulsion. Seeing you both made my heart melt.. there I was, sitting next you, at the window seat, being the quintessentially 'normally' oriented person by Indian standards and all I could hold on to was my book when the plane took off :) 
Much love to all who find love irrespective of sex, colour, age, caste, time and religion. As an ode to Indie and Blondie, I shall soon be writing more about the most overused word in our dictionaries - Love. 

And damn you, medications! You cost me my Bollywood debut! :D

Monday, November 28, 2016

Bitter half makeovers

Like any normal day, I was incessantly switching from multiple social networks to find something to grab my attention, and boy, how it did! 
I came across a few similar posts which read "XYZ's shocking transformation after breakup!" "ABC does not look like this anymore after divorce!" Wondering if they had gotten themselves a plastic surgery done, I curiously opened the damn link! So that's how social media marketing is done... HMMM. 
Anyway, I was directed to an actress's makeover pictures after an ugly divorce following a very abusive marriage. She was the same - just shorter hair, a new tattoo on her hand quoting philosophy and holiday pictures by the beach. This got me thinking. Why had she waited all this long to cut her hair short? Or just go away on vacation? Bigger question, why was all this shocking to people?

Preach as you may please, but we are heavily dependant on others to validate our happiness. We breed on acceptance from peers and loved ones like holding onto a ventilator pumping happiness into us. We were not moulded this way and we need to know this is wrong.

First things first, there is no greater love than thyself
Like this: When highly stressed, getting a pedicure on your feet or the nasty neighbour's feet makes you feel better?

Secondly, nobody stays forever
P.S. yes I'm being a mood killer now.
Like this: You're born alone and till the last breath, you are pretty much the only person who stays with you for so long. The rest come n go as they please.

Relationships are not for neglecting yourself.
Like this: Big revelation, I know. But it is a relationship only if you love and accept yourself first. The sparks fizzle out when people do not treat themselves like they did at the beginning. Who will love you if you don't? 

It must not take a heartbreak or a tragedy for one to realise that self love comes above all. 
Been wanting to get that pixie crop? Get one today! Go ahead with that beautiful little tattoo you've been wanting to get done. If you feel like re-doing your room with fairy lights or going on a road trip with your besties, do it today. Dress for yourself and find work that makes you happy. Your eulogies won't mention the pretty shoes and how much you strived at making others happy. For life is short as you know, and with each passing day its getting even more shorter for you to while away the little precious time becoming history each minute. 

Better half or not, you definitely don't need them or anyone to make you fall in or out of love... with yourself! 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Run 'Baby' Run!

Dear Mr. Aamir Khan,
                 Namaste! I woke up day before to the sight of newspapers flashing the headline news of your wife contemplating about leaving India in order to find a 'safer' haven for your family. Good one, by the way! Could you tell us what specific intolerance have you come across in the past year? What exactly alarmed you more than 1984 riots, 1993 attacks, 26/11 or Nirbhaya rape case? Quoting Mr. Anupam Kher, "Incredible India to Intolerant India in 7 months?" On one hand, you gave us 'Satyameva Jayate' and instilled in us, hope and faith for a better tomorrow; and on the other, you talk about making conditions better by leaving the country just because you're alarmed now that you've suddenly realized that Indians have become intolerant! What exactly is the point you're trying to make?
Dear Mr. Khan you are a celebrity and the undeniable creme de la creme of our motherland. Chances of you facing corruption, poverty, abuse, exploitation, atrocities, inflation, etc. on a daily basis are lesser than rarity. The common man of India faces at least one of the above mentioned issues on  a daily basis. Does that mean people here relocate to 'safer' havens? If that had to be the case, I'll just say that India would definitely not be the second largest populated democracy in the world. Does this scare your wife?
 Mr. Perfectionist as they call you, were you born perfect? Were all the movies that you were associated with, an instant box office record breaker? NO. We could have comfortably boycotted all your movies after the 1990's; a time when most of your movies tanked disastrously. Instead, we kept patience till you worked your way up to be one of the superstars of our nation! Is this scary? 
India has faced brutal terrorism in various parts of the nation including Mumbai, where you peacefully resided for the past 50 years. Does the peace haunt you?
Speaking of intolerance, if India had to be intolerant indeed, all rapists, criminals and terrorists would face public executions and castrations on a daily basis. How many of those have you witnessed here? Terrorists wouldn't be relaxing in jails with VIP security and biryani meals; corrupt officials would no longer hold onto their jobs; roadways and railways would have been perfect; there would no longer be any atrocities; no price hikes and no exploitation. BUT... We're a tolerant lot, DAMN! That is scary now, isn't it?
None of the Bollywood movies would have gained profit if each citizen of India first cross checked their caste with the actor's and then decided which one to watch. But what can we do, we turn out to be tolerant! I presume the box office success of your movies also makes you scared. 
Talking about your defense statement, Mr. Khan, speaking like an ignorant foreign visitor about your motherland which made you one of the most influential people of this generation does not make you a patriot. Are you really saying this about a democracy which has the LARGEST youth population in the WORLD? Yes, if you speak against India, we WILL rebel. Weren't you rebellious enough as well in your youth? By Bollywood standards, you're still 'young' and thus, rebelling! In simple words, you cannot slap someone in public and then expect them to shut up, praise and admire your deeds. If you are exercising your freedom of speech and expression entitled to you, then so are we.
Being an international and influential celebrity that you 'were' did you forget how your statements could paint a totally different picture about our 'Incredible India' to the world? The one you publicized so much about? People went crazy with humble news like 'Aamir Khan will be wearing a skirt in PK' or ' Aamir Khan has gained weight for Dangal'. What really made you think that statements such as these would not cause scandals? Nothing proved your point Mr. Khan, not even your statement of defense. You may either choose to keep your wife's silly statements to yourself or be ready to face the consequences of repeating her babbles in public. As our ancestors have rightly advised, "Ghar ki kuch baatein chaar diwaron tak hi rakha karo"!
Though I can proudly say that India has not faced such brutality as other nations, we truly believe in 'Athithi Devo Bhava' and you are free to leave the country after the pleasant stay! We Indians will be more than happy and overwhelmed to organize your farewell to other 'safer havens' than India that you deem 'perfect'. But make sure to not come back when you face worse things there. Really, saying and doing are entirely two different things. Even your movies were made for profit so you cannot garner sympathy by naming how much good you have 'acted' in them. This profession was entirely your choice. I wonder what values you are meaning to instill in your little child by running away from his motherland. 
Nonetheless, happy packing and sayonara, Mr. Khan! Bon voyage to you! Send us a postcard when you reach the haven! :)
P.S: Mars seems like a good option now that Nasa has found water there! Moreover, never heard of aliens having intolerance issues either. Couldn't be more safe :) *just a thought* *also kidding*

P.P.S: To the people of India, please refrain from tarnishing the image of Snapdeal, Titan, Samsung, Coke, Emami, Tata Sky, Godrej, etc. just because Aamir Khan is the brand ambassador. They are equally scandalized by his statements and they sure didn't see this coming when he was signed. They signed the celebrity superstar and not his vague thoughts and ideas. They are innocent and have incurred enough wrath in the past 48 hours for nothing they have done. Also, what major difference would it make to India if 'he' really relocated? India has better things to focus upon. Let's stand by the sensible ones, people.

All I want to say is, everyone has an opinion, but the impact of sharing it changes with power.

Peace, Jai Hind.. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Dream Catchers

So it's been a while since I've been working on something that we can now call a public secret. It all started around a year back when the writing bug caught me and I was hooked to my laptop, typing like a maniac all day and night. Additional/essential encouragement was made available in plenty from dear/extremely patient friends. The actual publishing will take some time (duhh)! But here's a little something to look forward to! I humbly present- 


Based in New Linford, the story begins with the protagonist Carrie and her best friends Joe, Agnette, Derek and Zylen. Frustrated with mundane routines and time-bound schedules, they decide to undertake a road trip to relax themselves by un-following diets and gormandizing sinful treats. Each one of the gang decides to accomplish a personal goal while on the trip. Though unknowingly, it is set to change their lives forever. 
Why do they plan the trip? What happens at each pitstop? Do they reach their destination and what is all this leading them into? 
The five embark on a journey of love, friendship, danger and mystery as destiny leads them to unlock something bigger than anticipated. Like dream catchers, do they dare to see the good dreams and trap the bad ones out? 

Phew!! For that, we'll have to wait and watch this space for more! Tell me what you think and I'll give you an insight by posting some excerpts straight from chapter 1 asap! :) 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

The Gospel Truths of Auntyji!

He is obviously the coolest of Gods when he manages to get you and the entire familia an off right in the middle of the week. That sounds so much more dramatic than mid week, by the way.
*Ganpati Bappa Morya! Mangal Murti Morya!* 
So the family was home, enjoying a usual lunch together; but on a weekday, which was very unusual. For the seventh time this month, sambar was made at home; though fortunately, in a much smaller proportion this time and mommy dearest finally starts praising it in the hope that we would assume it was biryani and devour it all. Thankfully, the bird's eye chilly and shallot chutney is an all time conventional favorite knight in glistening coconut oil armor that saves the grace. 
P.S. But the sambar today was actually good.
In the middle of the lunch, some unexpected guests (read old friends) decide to drop by. It is the mommy's girl gang! Mid-aged women now (I hope they do not read that) but head turners back in the day (I hope this makes up) and now thriving on weekly gossip sessions come over. As I am yet to finish my lunch, I decide to sit in the living room and continue eating.
After the usual hey and hi and some unimportant banter about their kids having office even today, our main auntyji here starts the mandatory session of gospel truths (read gossiping). Mommy gets some aerated beverages and snacks for them to begin. That's when Auntyji notices that I am around and realizes that I was going to take time to finish eating. Hence, she performs the quintessential 'mommies/aunties think kids never understand eye signalling act' and goes on to produce an unnamed Gospel session. As I am visibly not a thumb suckling tot and still very much in my senses, I realize this was going to be fun. So this is how it goes...
Topic: An actress, who they presumed had adopted a baby some years ago.
Auntyji goes like, "We came to give you some very important news. You know about that actress who adopted? That baby is not adopted at all! It's her own child!"
The others bewildered, "What? Who said?"
Auntyji: "Someone related to the actress related to me (I didn't quite catch the relation there) told me. They knew it all along! But news takes time to travel and reach Pune, you see."
"Really? But she wasn't pregnant, right?" curiosity inside one of them shooting up higher than Alps.
Auntyji continues, "No! She wasn't. They took 'this' from her, and 'that' from him... you know her lover, and mixed it to put it into someone else!"
I'm now struggling with all my might to keep my laughter compressed inside. I guessed some yoga that I did a few months ago, helped me keep the poker face in control.
Impressed by her new discovery, they go, "Oh mine! And all this time we thought the baby was adopted!" they say, looking flabbergasted.
It doesn't stop here. Another enthusiast had her curiosity well above the Everest by now "Who is the guy?" she asked.
Auntyji: "Who knows? Some say that he is an actor and some say he was a cricketer. It seems like the man was already married and his wife didn't leave him. I'll get the name next time! Bollywood celebs do all this so publicly (read surrogacy). But this actress chose to tell the world that her own baby is not hers and is adopted."
I can barely control my laugh any longer (side-effects of stopping yoga along with a complimentary paunch).
"That's so shocking and surprising at the same time!" another concludes.
I gobble up the remaining lunch and run to the kitchen to laugh my senses out. Finally relieved that the 'baby' (me) is no longer in the room, Auntyji says, "These women today... no morals. They make babies but not marriage! How will that child grow up without a father?" she says nodding her head in disbelief. And just as I return, they start smiling like teenage boys just hit on them.
As they get ready to leave, mommy does the formality of asking "Leaving already? Sit for sometime more." And her badass comeback being, "Nah nah... Stock over for now. I'll come with more news next time!" which finally led me to losing all control over my giggles .
I realized, they were more relieved assuming I never caught what 'this' of the heroine and 'that' of her lover was, which got mixed up to put into somebody else. 
Ignoring our potential knowledge in all these crucial fields, gives our parents and their generation some kind of unexplained, overrated bliss. So much for birds and bees, I sigh. Here's hoping India's sex education does improve! I wonder if we could have a festival every year where age old myths and beliefs were submerged into water, which would make way for new ones. Until then,
Jai Hind and Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Indian crème de la..... dèbris!!

                                   Blogging on a weekday feels like you're on paid vacation. Think of vacations and the first thing that comes to your mind is clean white sand beaches, picturesque landscapes and all things good, clean and 'firangi' especially. Every time you ask an Indian about their travel dreams, you are ought to hear, "I want to travel the world... not India!" (Heard of Shimla, Kerala, Rajasthan, Punjab, Pondicherry... etc. etc..??)
Why not India? If the choices are Bhopal or Nepal, I'm sure the majority will root for the latter destination. 
WHAT? REALLY? WHY? Oh wait, wait.. Let's save the drama for some other day and find out why.
Sharp. Blunt. Grim. Honest.
This will entertain you till the end.
This article is addressed to the dirtiest part of our nation, the quintessential litterbugs of our dear and unclean motherland. One national issue finally where people, irrespective of caste, faith and religion unite... but yes, for something gruesome. 
NOTE: A litterbug is someone who
  • Spits in public
  • Pees in public
  • Defecates in public (sorry Mrs. Vidya Balan, people still turn a deaf ear to your advice)
  • Litters the surroundings
  • Rapes
  • Terrorizes 
  • Brings down trees and plants
  • Smokes in public.......... and all that we civilized counterparts are ashamed of you people doing. 
-Picture THIS:
A new place that you are wanting to explore on the next vacation sounds like....
  • Dirty roads
  • Stinky toilets
  • Unhygienic places
  • Monuments/Heritages in sorry state
  • Garbage disposal in the open
  • Nobody is ever safe (except foreign Presidents)
  • Flies and other insect infested eateries 
  • Defecated surroundings even outside malls
  • People eager to litter for every chance they get

Would you go to this place? NEVER. Not in a 100 years!
But you know what?? You LIVE here. I have just described the beauty of one of the largest democracies in the world, India. Feel free to read them again!
Why is it so? Well, you say.......

-Firstly, India is dirty. 
CORRECTION: You dirtied India.
Yes, face it. From throwing a small piece of gum wrapper or a bus ticket to teaching us special modern art made on our heritages using 'paan', you are the supreme architect. Now who likes vacation pictures amidst such dirty surroundings, right?

-Indian heritages have lost its sheen.
CORRECTION: You played a big role in that. *Slow claps*
So yes, you and your better half are 'Heer-Ranjha', 'Romeo-Juliet' and all that, but our heritages are definitely NOT your canvas to let the world know how much you love each other. You have Twitter, Facebook, Face time, Whatsapp, BlackBerry Messenger and many more platforms to declare your undying love. Spare the dying monuments.

-Fellow Indians are unhygienic.
CORRECTION: Surprisingly, that's what people opine about you too.
Indians have an amazing skill that people nowhere around the world can even think of boasting: The sheer talent of flying spittle and blowing noses while driving on the roads. Yes, it's only acceptable when they do it themselves. 

-Biogas and garbage disposal is very rural.
CORRECTION: Well then, your mentality is stone-age.
The biggest irony is that it takes doctors, engineers, lawyers, architects and other highly educated professional/corporate bigwigs to litter their surroundings. The lesser educated rural India is doing much better with biogas plants and organic methods of waste disposal.

                                      Every other day, people upload pictures of their participation in the 'Swachh Bharat Abhiyan' holding broomsticks bigger than Harry Potter's! It's a win-win situation for them anyway.. 
One: People think you are humble, good and willing to work for the society.
Two: Publicity.
Three: Some place gets cleaner for a day (just a bonus from the above two points)
Isn't it shameful that a nation with the second highest population in the world needed a visionary leader to tell them to keep their surroundings clean? People are too busy trying for the numero uno spot perhaps! :D

The day is not far when the 'firangis' ask "Was the game 'World of goo' inspired by you people? You know it's so dirty and all everywhere!" OR
"Hey! Do you play treasure hunts in public toilets? Nobody goes in there anyway! It's like Google's page number 20. Nobody bothers going so far.. They get things done way before that."
Cut the crap people! Dirtying your house and singing praises of your neighbor's home doesn't make you any cool. 
Undeniably, you are the the title of this article! The filth of India and the prime reason we do not make substantial progress. Sensible people have hated you, do have and always will. 
This post is so much 'halla bol' it almost seems like a typical Madhur Bhandarkar movie script! ;)
Ending on a filmy note, a scene from a famous Bollywood movie depicts the protagonist saying, "Agar Bapu aaj yaha hota, toh kehta ki iss desh ki toh vaat lag gayi hain boss!"
True that. 
Jai Hind.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

The 'Mummyji-Behenji' ideologies...

                           Sometimes you just want to write something and nothing good comes up.. and sometimes when you're not even trying, something amazing crops up!
This post here is dedicated to all men (if you qualify being one), boys, guys, babas and all things male. 
What news do we compulsarily wake up to every morning? 
Physical/domestic/mental abuse and rapes are a staple diet that our leading newspapers provide us with every morning. No, I'm not being a sadist! But life is not always sugar, spice and everything nice right?
HEY! Why is it not like that? Where does all this start? Do we really choose to ignore the subtle ones? WHY???
So this warm afternoon, my whatsapp beeps (well it beeps all the time :D)
My dear friend here texts me saying, "Some creeps saw my picture and i heard them comment about it!! They used such foul language! But it was such a decent picture! Why do all guys have to be jerks?!! Why target me?!??"
Ok yes she's a little hyper and all.. but wait a minute. She has a point somewhere.
Stop searching! She's a woman! The message is obviously hidden! :P
Let's decode a bit... (yes technical language... blame the IT project I'm ignoring right now... Stop staring you minimized window!!)
In this age of selfies and social networking, where people tell you from what they had for breakfast to where they went grocery shopping, how wrong is it for a girl/woman to upload a simple picture of hers? Yes just the 'Naari Shakti'.. haven't heard of men going through this "struggle" yet!
I have friends who upload pictures of celebrities and animals as their profile pictures (you don't look like either of them :/ ) fearing the above mentioned creeps.
And why do women fear them? OH read on!! It just gets funnier from here ;)
So MEN... not all, but SOME pathetic ones have pre-decided stereotypes for women! 
Psst!! We women don't even have pre-decided clothes for a day! :O :/
Let's try to list a few......
-She is good looking........ She has boyfriendS! (Note the plurality) 
-She drinks alcohol.......... She is a s**t!
-She talk to boys.............  She is easy!
-She wears shorts............  She is of a very loose character!
-She goes out at night...... She definitely sleeps with guys!
-She wears a short dress.. She has a bad upbringing!
-She meets friends........... She has nothing better in life to do!
-She has guy friends........ She is sleeping with them all!
-She does make up.......... She just wants to lure every guy she sees!
-She is fun....................... She is just a "gone case"!
-She shows skin.............. She has to sleep with me!

OK stop... because it's like a woman's shopping list... IT JUST NEVER ENDS!
Every girl who reads this will know that nothing is exaggerated and there is nothing to be flabbergasted about. 
To every guy who thinks this is true, I have something to say to you! :)
You are living today because a WOMAN chose to give birth to you.
You are strong enough because a WOMAN cooks for you everyday.
You wear clean clothes because a WOMAN washes them for you.
You live in a well kept house because that's how a WOMAN wants you to live.
You make mistakes because a WOMAN selflessly forgives.
You love your MOTHER, you adore your SISTER, you care for your GRANDMOTHER, you love your WIFE/GIRL, you relied on a TEACHER to educate you, you let a MAID to keep your house spic and span, you pray to a GODDESS to ace your exams.... and so many more roles..
If you can't live without them, least I'd suggest you learn to respect them! 
Yes we are women, we have lady parts, we are beautiful and none of these mean that you own us.
If you think otherwise, it's your BLUNDER, not ours.
Calm your hormones, if you ogle at our body parts, somebody will ogle at your female-related-closely-to-you's body parts! It's a simple give and take karma.   

This post is to all those boys (yes, you aren't MEN yet) out there who think a woman's dignity is based on what you think it should be.
It's not. It just makes it easier for us to differentiate between adolescent boys, barking dogs and true gentlemen! :) (thanks for the silly help by the way!!)
So now you know it doesn't really make that much of a difference as you thought it does..  (self-obsession i tell you!)
So get over yourself. We don't respect you, we just pity your level of intelligence :)
And THANK YOU! It would have been an otherwise boring weekend for me... but making this post was simply FUN!! :D

P.S.: I'm definitely very very very "Oh Not sorry" for what I wrote :D 
A woman sacrifices for a man much more than he could possibly think of. So give respect and take some back! 
Hope this makes it easier for you boys to find out which category you fit into! (Girls really root for the Men... maybe that's your hint!) ;)
and P.P.S.: The title is a little censored... it's trying to be nice :) :D

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Red Velvet Dreams...

                          So it seems weird to be back after soo long! Especially when Google says please confirm it is you by logging in with details fit enough to sign you up for any potential matrimonial sites. Anyway! This login would have taken much longer had it not been for my lovely girl Trishala (Yes Google, that's her name. I haven't misspelt that. Now stop underlining it with that red ink for heaven sake!)
So, back to the blog.. This has been on my mind since quite some days now!
I wonder how many people are actually happy with the decisions they have taken in life. No seriously!! I see people slogging their guts off to complete projects and match deadlines where weekends sounds like the ultimate "Sanjivani booti' (Ohhh engg gives you a shot of that!! My life now makes sense :/ ). Sadly a case of  'this happens only in India' syndrome gets the most of us. If I hadn't been affected by it too, i'd rather be a writer who owns a designer boutique and travels the world :D ( now THAT would be my Red Velvet Dream! )
We are most often bogged down by societal pressures in the way of finding our true calling. Goes like..... "Sharma uncle ki beti ne engineering mein admission li hai...." OR "Gupta aunty ke bete ne MBBS kia hai"... "tumhe bhi karna chaiye."
Oh and btw, Sharma uncle ki beti ka chakkar dudhwale ke sath chal raha hai! What say now?????????????? :@ :D
As I'm nearing graduation, it hits me hard in the head to realize that i no longer know where i'm headed to! I'm like Alice now and my wonderland doesn't seem to end anywhere near :P
Talking about other things, they decide from what you wear to whom you marry to where you live to what you must do. Pretty much like 'Survival of the fittest'.
But hey, what if you had a chance to change the way things are?!?! (yeah that sounds adventurous.... I mean skipping your mom's belans and dad's chappals.. but think of it!)
 Have you ever thought what you would have been doing today if you were given the opportunity to decide for yourself? Maybe then we'd have lesser suicides and depressed people unhappy about their lives.
Who are you scared of disappointing? OK lets do a checklist (ignore the software language..!!)

-Let me define this for you. These are those species that will call you only those number of times which equals the number of your semesters. They are often seen using sentences and phrases like, "Beta, result kya aya??"
Once you start working, nobody bothers to call and ask "Beta project kaise chal raha hai? Khush ho?? Kuch paise dedu?"
So why in the name of God do you wanna live your life on their terms (trust me, nobody cares unless you are paying them half your salary every month :D )
-Again, they tell you whom to marry, not how to stay happy with random strangers for the rest of your life (WHATTT..!! Arranged marriages now seem creepy :O )
-When it comes to mistreating women, they want to put us girls in a burqa but not their boys on a leash (Ohhh u SADIST people!!! :@ )
-If you are nice to the opposite sex.... Kuch toh chakkar hai (Like the ACP in CID says "Kuch toh gadbad hai Daya!" Instead of "Daya, darwaza tod do.." I wish I could say, "Daya, muh toh do!" :D :P )
and so on and on...............

                  There are so many things to be listed, but then the blog wouldn't end.
My moral of the story here is, follow your dreams.... No matter what. In the end its you who is going to face the consequences of it. NOT your padosi ki aunty ki beti ke potey ka bua! Phewww!! :P
Once you're done with obeying them, believe me nobody cares if you're happy or sad, dead or alive.
Go ahead, have a 'Plan B' in life. Take up a long lost hobby or an activity you enjoy. Switch jobs to where you find your dreams taking shape...
If it seems right or gets a smile on your face, DO IT! You'll only regret the decisions you didn't take and the opportunities you didn't seize when you could.  
And finally be with and around people who make your only journey down here worthwhile :) (unless of course you believe in Egyptian mummies and rebirths ;) :D )
So the next time you come back to read something here, I hope something must have changed! I hope u'd be nearer to your Red Velvet Dream..!! :)

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Kaacch..!! :D

Now... this post is gonna have some real stuff!
Not only because its about a very close friend, but also about my new SON (seemingly older than me ;D ) Well well, before any of dat sets ur minds racing, i have just adopted a fully grown 20 something Gujarati, left earlobe pierced, with a khandaani double-chin and a somewat bulging belly (wch says "all is well") :P ok now dat just sounded  like the description for a jailbreak accused :D
Lets call him Kach... meaning glass.. well i cud say fragile glass (referring to how well we know him)
Too many adjectives actually to describe him... lets start wid some!! :D
* THE lame PJ devta:
yes! u can't beat him! i bet my fortune on dat :/
for exp:
>me: hey kach! how u doing?
kach: oh im awesome! coz i use cinthol!
.................. :/ seriously? X(

>(looking at my bangle)
kach: ye sone ka hai?
me: ha kyu?
kach: toh sulati kidhar tu isko??

>kach says bachpan mein main chota tha! :)
kyaa??? sorry hum toh bachpan se adult the :/
*THE troll master:
oh god i mean this! nobody troll like kach trolls :P
for exp:
if u ask him to click a picture of u, he will position the camera at u and take HIS OWN pic using the front cam :/ :D
*THE Mr. Bechara:
wen i first asked, how many has Kach dated? the answer was, "i lost count..."
OKAY! now that is the height of sarcasm EVER for Kach! this boy dsnt even know how to flirt! he keeps chatting only wid his sisters all day long! :D hez always been single :P (too rare for a love-struck romantic like him!)
now i really feel like a mother filling up for her son on a matrimony site! :|
*THE Devdas:
undebatedly, this point has to come next! tooo senti regarding just one person!
any girl... and trust me on this, just any girl wud actually KILL for a devdas like this in this age :D
well, the less said the better! :X
lets MOVE ON to the next point ;)
(i.e. if u get my POINT here :P)
*THE Weirdo:
Oooh yes! n i'll tell u why!
Kach will eat rice only with bare hands. he will never use a spoon! WHY? because then otherwise he dsnt get the feel of eating it :O
usually, people eat poha and drink tea. and then ders Kach! y waste energy doing two things? he mixes his tea along with the poha and relishes that! :O :D WWHHAATTT!!!
he loves his wafers way TOO much! Kach alone is enough to put the "Budhani Bros." out of business.
and the most weirdest thing of all, people still call this man normal :D
*THE Tansen:
he will sing to "hey shona...." all day long with dat blessed voice of his (too much, just too much sarcasm intended wid dat adjective :D ) and irritate me to bits! :P
*THE Hasmukh dikra:
yes, he can get that smile on ur face any given time! no matter what hez going through :D :)
(P.S.: that may even include some of his potentially deadly pj's!) :P
                              this post was promised to him eons ago :D because Kach is already too much into future planning. he says he will print this out and show it to his grand kids! :O XD
but i just needed a lil more time on the research ;) wat u read here is not even an ounce of what he really is! unless u haven't met this blonde u don't know him :P OK sorry but i know ur already gonna kill me for publishing some things here ;) but its all worth it ;)
                                                                                                         -Love, Momma :D
hahahaha......................................... :P ;)

Saturday, February 9, 2013

An ode to the lovely society..!

                                        Shopping in the day n blogging by night! seems like a nice Saturday to me ;)
so. sitting by the desktop, downloading songs, munching on some sago snack..(one of my FAV)! ... a scene outside catches my sight. NOTHING unusual. a bunch of "bored by the housework" aunties. no prizes for guessing the round table conference held by them is always gossiping. wonder what updates all the newsfeed! OK! so here lets make a guess. on d possible topics n scrutinize a bit ;)
AAHH! so much fun proving people wrong :P ;)
This could effortlessly be labelled as the great Indian gossip stock.
Dear people, if u see a boy wid a girl or vice versa, it dsnt necessarily mean dey cud be lovers. m not saying never! but pls spare the horrifying stares :/ they cud be great friends. it gets embarrassing.
As much as mothers like to brag abt deir children's achievements, dey also humiliate u wen somebdy asks, "beta, padhai kaise chalu hai????" LADY! u forgot to wish d kid on his birthday! how come u no forget result days?? :O and ur mother will say"arey bhabhi! usne toh padhai karna chod hi diya hai!" OMG! how much sympathy did dat just garner! :/  not dat telling people u dnt study made ur scores any better. get ur child to do wat he/she wants to. maybe then u cud hold ur head up high n say, "padhai toh achi hi chal rahi hai!"
What's India without dem anyway! if der is a love match, then its upto dem to self employ demselves as detectives n find how dey met, go home n lecture their kids wat great sin it is to fall in love! REALLY? :/
n if its an arranged match, den d boy's mother is flooded wid national issues like.. how much did she get? :O OMG i really had no clue dat d bride is supposed to giv u ur desperate rags to riches story! well its mostly d later case coz in the Biggest Democratic of d world, people dnt hav the right to choose whom dey wanna spend deir life wid! giving boys a great reason to flirt around like, "babe i can date u, but i cant marry u."
Oh common! face it. i dunno why its such a taboo here?
dear aunty jis, with all due respect, if a person.. here mostly a teenager or youth talks about sex its not because dey r spoilt. its more bcoz dey are aware.
n love.. well, much has been said alrdy. a word of advice: love dsnt solely mean eloping, leaving ur family or getting pregnant.
Alright! now this topic is more sensitive than d above so NO COMMENTS! :X i zip.
but.. well pls do keep ur ideas to ur wardrobes. v like our jeans, leggings, trousers and occasional skirts, shorts n dresses :D it wud be great to not be judged on what u wear :|... Sincerely, Teenagers n Youth!
Well, u see... some of ur friends are still learning :P
Honestly, nothing much to hide! v jus like talking to our friends just like you! stop suspecting v have 10 lovers n are love chatting to all! :O (random... but we do have morals. vr not d cases who go arnd flirting with any tom dick and harrys) :)

P.S.: i do not wish to claim dat all aunty jis are d same. iv seen a hell lotta cool moms n auntys. this is intended for pun! :D :P

                                    NOW! dat feels some GOOD!!! :D
Not sure if any auntys are gonna read this, but nonetheless, a one side debate just WON! ;)
                                                                 CHEERS! :D: D :D